You Know You're a Real New Yorker When...

The Gothamist posted this today, gathering their criteria from that one episode of How I Met Your Mother and from an NY1 commercial, while adding some of their own. I thought I'd put my comments alongside such criteria to determine whether I've become a real New Yorker yet...

• You've seen Woody Allen. [Note: or substitute whatever celebrity you see around your neighborhood.]
• I haven't seen anyone. But this was the case for me in L.A. too. I chalk it up to tunnel vision.
  
• You've stolen a cab from someone who needs it more than you do.
• Why, I never! I'm not aggressive enough to ever do this. Guess I'll never be a real New Yorker. (On a side note, I have rarely witnessed this actually happening)
  
• You've cried on the subway and not given a damn what anyone thinks.
• Guilty. For reasons I won't divulge.
  
• You've killed a cockroach with your bare hands.
• Ew. I'll never do that. Though I have accidentally stepped on a few.
• You don't pronounce Houston Street like the city in Texas.
• They teach you that on the first day!
  
• You don't stare when you spot a celebrity.
• I'm from L.A. Case closed.
  
• You never tell a cab driver where you're going until you're inside the cab.
• This seemed like common sense to me and I've always done that.
• When you've been here at least five years (weeds out the college dilettantes) combined with when you start talking about the thing that used to be on that corner three stores ago.
• Darn, I'm still a college dilettante.
  
• When you stop going out on Friday nights.
• So true.
  
• When you start going out on Monday nights.
• So true!
  
• When you stop giving money to homeless people.
• Never have. (Again, I'm from L.A. 'nuff said.)
  
• When you know better than to enter an empty subway car.
• Oh boy have I learned this one!
• When you know how to walk around tourists.
•  I think my many years walking about a large university campus taught me this.
• You just want SantaCon and the No Pants Ride to end already.
• Whoa, SantaCon?!? I never even heard of that before. Guess I'm not a real New Yorker. And while I've heard of No Pants Ride, I haven't actually been on the subway on No Pants Ride day...
  
• You can nap on the subway and play it cool when a rat scurries across your face.
• I thought this was a bit exaggerated until I clicked on the link and watched that video. *shudder*
  
• You don't even notice the pee smell in the subway system anymore.
• Still notice. Darn, guess I'm not a real New Yorker...